Lighting Christmas candles
by lost soul's keeper
Summary: Andrew takes a minute to light candles for the people he lost in sunnydale on the first christmas after the final battle. Post chosen but pre 'damage' he thinks spike is dead


A/n: hello all. I haven't written a BTVS fanfic before. So be gentle 'Kay? Anyway. Here's a Christmas Eve Andrew fanfiction! Enjoy and have a very happy Christmas or whatever winter holiday you celebrate.

Disclaimer: I put them on my Christmas list but sadly they still aren't mine

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&.

Lighting Christmas candles

The church was quiet. He could hear his hitting the floor softly as he timidly entered the sanctuary part of the church. How long had it been since he had been in a church? Since had and spike went on that 'mission mission'. That was the last time, had that really counted? Pushing aside the questions in his mind he headed over to the place where candles were lit. Pausing at his destination, he regarded them for a minute. The lit candles were so pretty. Kneeling on the cuisine in front of the hundreds of candles he paused for a minute thinking of what brought him here. He had come here on Christmas Eve, to light candles for the three people in his life had been his friends. True friends, they were gone now. Dead and gone. One by his own hand. With that thought he decided to start with the one who he had killed.

As he lit the candle for Jonathan memories flooded his mind. Not memories of the trio he had stopped looking at those for a while, but memories of Mexico. It was odd, Jonathan had been so angry with him in sunnydale but when they got to Mexico and Andrew had honestly thought that Jonathan would leave him. He had stayed. He remembers it exactly.

**(Flashback) **

**Andrew stood at the truck stop looking around. They had made it to Mexico, they were safe. He couldn't look at Jonathan. He was going to get left again. Jonathan was going to leave him. He was alone. "Andrew." slowly turning to face the person he betrayed, he bit his lip to keep tears back. Jonathan was standing there and looking at him. "Are you gonna stand there all day?" He asked with a hint of impatience. "We gotta find a room." "We?" he had croaked shocked. Jonathan gave him a look. "Yeah whether we like it or not we're all each other has. Come on." **

**(End flashback**)

Blinking back tears from those memories, he lit the next candle for anya. He smiled slightly at his memories of hers. He hadn't really connected to anyone in the earlier days of being a 'hostage' but he came pretty darn close to it with her. He still remembers the 'Wheelchair fights' in the hospital. He bit his lip when he remembers her last moments before the battle. She had been so scared yet determined not to show it too much. He himself had been petrified enough for anyone to see.

Sighing softly he lit the last candle. For spike, the mysterious vampire. He had admired spike so much. As much as he had annoyed the vampire; spike had grundingly allowed him to hide in his basement when the SIT's were mad at him or he needed to talk to someone. Swallowing he looked at the three candles. Three for three people who had truly lit up his life in their own ways. Bowing his head he said a silent prayer for their souls, hoping god still loved a sinner like him to hear and listen to it.

As he stood he suddenly heard a soft voice from the doorway. "Andrew?" Turning he saw xander standing there. Oddly enough that's when he noticed the carolers voices from across the street.

&Through the years we all will be together If the Fates allow,&

"Oh hey xander." He said softly. "What are you doing here?" Xander shrugged "Got your note and came to tell you it's almost time for the eggnog and gifts, every one's waiting for you." Andrew felt warmth in his soul they were waiting for him. He turned back "Merry Christmas you three, and thank you." He turned to xander and nodded. "Ready." They walked from the church into the quiet night the only sounds the snow under their feet and the carolers singing.

&Hang a shining star On the highest bough,&

Andrew looked up and saw the stars were shining beautifully. Yes, it truly was Christmas Eve. But the thing that made him happiest, was that he had gotten his secret Christmas wish.

&And have yourself A merry little Christmas now&

Even if it was just for now, He was going home for Christmas, to his family.


End file.
